Ron's 100 Ways to Get a No
by Llady Llama
Summary: Ron is ready for the second biggest step of his life...Mariage! Now if only he could propose right. Follow Ron's 100 failed attempts to ask Hermione to marry him.
1. Attempt 1

I, _insert your name here_, do not own _insert title here_. I would, however, like to thank _insert name of author here_ for allowing me to borrow _inset character(s) name(s) here_

Attempt 1

Hermione's eyes grew wide as Ron suddenly fell down to one knee and removed a small, velvet box from his pocket.

As Ron opened the box to display its contents he spoke from the heart in a truly elegant manner. "Hermione, I have loved you for longer than I know of. From friendship, my feelings have manifested into something deeper. Now that we are finally together, I don't ever want to be apart. Hermione Granger, will you do me the greatest of honors? Will you be my wife?"

A rosy color spread across Hermione's face as she expressed her answer in action, as the situation deemed necessary.

She slapped him… upside the head!

" Ronald, have you gone utterly bonkers? Helping your dad with regurgitating toilets is most defiantly not the time to propose marriage?" With that, a 'ripe' smelling Hermione stormed out.

Standing up, Ron wiped a smudge off his forehead, turned to Harry, and said, "So was that a 'no' then?"


	2. Attempt 2

I, _insert your name here_, do not own _insert book title here_. I would, however, like to thank _insert name of author here_ for allowing me to borrow _inset character(s) name(s) here._ I,_insert your name here_, also do not own_insert movie title here_. I would, however, like to thank_insert name(s) of producer(s), writer(s), actor(s), etc. here_ for allowing me to borrow dialog.

*I would like to thank Hayley and disneylover213 for reading and reviewing my story even with the lack of updating. It is due to the messages I recieved on your reviews that I decided to update today. Thanks!*

Attempt 2

Ron was nursing a butterbeer in the Leaky Cauldron with his best mate, Harry by his side.

"I don't understand her! She leaves hints all over the place and when I finally ask, she says, 'No!'"

"It might have been how you asked her, Ron."

"I thought the words were rather nice."

"It wasn't the words, Ron. It was the location. I don't think Hermione found the situation very romantic."

"You don't think so?"

"No!"

"Oh…"

After ten more minutes of contemplation and ordering a second round of butterbeers, Ron's face suddenly light up. "I've got it! You know how Hermione is always dragging me to those mobies?"

"Mobies?"

"You know. They're like wizard photos but with sound."

"Do you mean movies?"

"Didn't I say that? The point is Hermione always gets sniffley when the bloke pops the big one."

"And your point?"

"My point is I'll propose just like in one of those movies!" Ron grinned like a Cheshire cat who had caught a bird.

"Ron, I think you've got something there."

Hermione allowed Ron to drag her thru the Edinburgh zoo.

"Ron! Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see."

"Wait, Ron! I want to see the otters. They're just down that path," Hermione cried as they passed the pygmy hippos.

It had been quite a shock to Hermione when Ron had arrived at her flat that morning claiming to have a "wicked day planned." It had taken Hermione by complete surprise when an hour later Ron had apparated them in Edinburgh, Scotland and then proceeded to lead her to the zoo. The biggest surprise, however, was that, although the sun was out and it was quite warm, there was a layer of snow on the ground.

"We're here," Ron exclaimed in front of an exhibit where two medium-sized wild cats were napping in the shade.

"Ron, why are we here?"

"Well, you know… I kinda like the zoo a lot. You know? It's a special place, especially when it snows. You know, like that," Ron replied with an odd part Brooklyn, part English accent. "Smells clean and everything like that. You know? Don't you like the zoo?"

"Yes, I love the zoo. But why this zoo and this exhibit," Hermione said while giving Ron a worried look. "And why are you talking like that?"

"Yeah, me too." Ron started to shuffle his feet and move around like a boxer in the ring or a kid with ADHD and no Ritalin.

"You know, I was wondering. Like," Ron took a loud breath/sigh. "What do ya think yer doin' for like the next, uhh… 40 or 50 years?"

"What? Ron, are you feeling alright? Do you have to visit the loo?"

"I was wondering if, uhh… you, uhh… wouldn't mind marrying me very much."

Ron proceeded to kiss Hermione and then mumbled in the same odd mash of accents, "I'll be a good guy, I promise! I ain't goin' ta do nothing wrong. I ain't going to leave hair in the sink or anything like that. You know? Things are going to be great. You know that?"

Ron ran over close to the enclosure and yelled to the cats, "Hey! Hey, we're getting married! You know? You wanna come? If you can get out for the weekend I'll send you an invitation, Mr. Tiger!"

At this point Hermione's face had gotten incredibly red as she yelled at Ron, "First of all, Ronald, those are not tigers. Those are Asian golden cats. Tigers are larger and are orange with distinctive black stripes. Asian golden cats range from dark orangey red to golden brown and have very few stripes. Second, you should really reconsider living your life using Rocky II as your guide."

With that Hermione left a confused Ron to view the otters.


End file.
